The reality is that my day started out kind of bad. This nutso OT (you know the type, they're always late, their hands are going along with their mouths to explain away their incompetence, there's a whole lot of commotion and very little accmplished) should have been in my room to wake me up at 7....yes, that's AM. When OT works with you in the morning before breakfast they actually get you into the shower (otherwise you do your sponge bath in the sink by yourself) and you're all ready for breakfast at 8. Today I also had PT scheduled at 8:30.
So she showed up at 7:30, already 30 minutes late with a multitidue of excuses rolling off her tongue. "Would you like a shower this morning?" Yes. "Ok, I'll be back in a minute." Unfortunately I promptly fell back asleep and when I awoke it was 7:52. Crap. I had 8 minutes to get myself out of bed, cleaned up and over to breakfast.
Motor Mouth was full of excuses, but she did roll me into breakfast where I met my nurse with my next fix. I inhaled about 1/2 of a bagel and swished the pills down with half of my grape juice, and propelled myself down the hall for PT. You know how that went from a previous post.
MM (new acronym for Motor Mouth) told me to come down to see her in OT and she would show me how to put my shoes and socks on. Ok, cool. But, I clearly forgot who I was dealing with. MM. MM yammered about how cool my socks were, handed me one and just stood there. Duh. I don't care for the sock gadget, but wouldn't you think she would have some ideas about how to get them on. I mean if she's just going to stand there then I really don't need her for anything. She watched me fumble around for awhile then without a word put them on me.
Next came the shoes. "I'm not sure your swelling has gone down enough to get your shoes on." HUH? Then seriously wth am I going through this exercise in futility? I am seriously trying to Again, she handed me a shoe and just stood there waching me. I pulled a few of the last laces out opened it wide and got it on. I struggled but finally got it loosely tied. I looked up from my accomplishment, and I kid you not, she had disappeared. No lie, this loon was nowhere to be found!
My roommate and I exchanged a few rolled eye glances and I headed back to my room. Guess what I found on my way? Yes, here came MM carrying a glass of ice water. "Are you practicing walking in your shoes?" Yup, I'm practicing walking right back to my room. "Oh no, we should kill 15 minutes more (aha! Billable Hours!Finally, the first thing I could understand about this entire crazy situation!) how about you lift the bar a few times?" That was technical occupational therapist lingo for do 3 sets of 10 arm curls. I did them and cross my heart hope to die stick a needle in my eye, she had disappeared again. Honestly, you can't make up stuff like this.
There was no stopping me this time. I made a beeline for the door and my room where I could vent in reasonable peace either under the towel (which I forgot) or behind Curtain #2, the bathroom curtain.
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