Lessons Learned

Today marks the 3-month mark since my surgery. Here are a few things I've learned since then.

Pick your spouse wisely. That part in the vows that says “in sickness and in health” doesn’t seem like much of a reality when you’re young and idealistic. As you get older, however, it looms as a much more important issue. With the state of our health care institutions today, someone who can deal with the doctors, the hospital staff, and the bills is a necessity. Someone who can deal with not only your physical well being but your mental well being too is priceless. I am blessed.

You can’t pick your family. If Lady Fortune smiles upon you though, you may be lucky enough to have a close, loving relationship with them and be able to depend upon them. Family knows your positive traits and they are all too aware of your faults. All pretence is wiped away: they know how to best help in stressful circumstances and you know their limitations. Count me blessed.

When you’re in pain or in trouble, you want your Mom first. Always. Double blessings here.

Have faith. I don’t often talk about faith with people and since everyone’s walk in faith is so different, I was hesitant to put it on the list. I'm not going to say much about it here either, but, it’s hugely important and cannot be discounted.

Have realistic expectations of your friends. There are the keepers, those you can count on through thick and thin. The good timers who will be around if nothing better is happening. And there are the acquaintances you rarely see who are in the periphery of your life. Usually you know who the keepers are and what to expect from them; continue to nourish them because they are important. The thing is that in troubled times the good timers and acquaintances don’t stay in the little boxes you put them in. Some will surprise you by giving their time, putting forth an effort, and supporting when you need it most. Try not to be upset with the good timers and acquaintances who lived up to your limited expectations and focus on enriching the relationships with those who positively surprised you. Gobs of blessings in my life.

Commitments are important. If you are going to do something, have the fortitude to do it right. Pushing physical and mental boundaries are never easy. Your spouse, family, and friends can be the biggest assets enabling you to meet your goals.

Patience is a virtue. It reminds me of a children’s song from a Christian album called The Music Machine, “Have patience, have patience, don’t be in such a hurry. When you get impatient, you only start to worry.” I have no idea how one develops this desirable quality, but I suspect that life is smoother if you learn to take it as it comes. I’m not having a great deal of success in developing this elusive trait, but I am trying. I’ve done enough worrying over the past three months to turn my eyebrows white.

Perspective is subjective. Just because your drama is not life threatening, it doesn’t mean that it’s not the most devastating thing that’s ever happened in your life. It’s important.

Count your blessings. Over and over again if you need to. Which apparently I need to do several times a day!